Hey there, minions. Long time no anything. Sorry about that. Had a meltdown, recovered, had another, etc. I never ended up on my psych ward, but i was damn depressed for a while. And just when i thought it was safe...
So, my favorite cat, Cleo, died of cancer just before my last post. Then coworkers and acquaintances started getting diagnosed with cancer. Some died. Some fight on. Then i went through another cancer scare myself. Eventually i was cleared, but thinking you are being sent to death row for doing nothing wrong is as bad as it sounds. I'm innocent i tell ya. I was framed by a cell with an agenda. Now mom is sick with she won't tell us what, but she sleeps all but 10 hours a day and barely functions. Dad is sworn to secrecy. Making me nuts. More nuts. Nutser... Stupid HIPAA... Really. Sometimes i think kids should be allowed in the secret circle of knowledge.
Cue the dramatic sad music.
Last year and a half was my sister-in-law Donna's turn. Breast cancer. Went remission-ish, but then she got very ill suddenly. Brain cancer. It went everywhere fast and she died in January at 36. Meanwhile, my 17-year-old niece Kimberly probably has MS (i know, way too young, but everything else is ruled out) and is losing the use of her legs. And now? Just after a coworker's wife died of cancer at 38 (they found it a month ago), i get the news that my 21-year-old niece Sarah (other sibling's daughter) is being evaluated for bone cancer.
What the fuck????
My Buddhist self wants to get all philosophical about it. The rest of me wants to break shit and then rock in a corner. Debating and doing some of both. Thanks for asking. More on that in the next installment. I may call it "mindfully breaking shit" or "rocking meditation as an alternative to catatonia."
I am about to make a broad statement based on anecdotal information that has no scientific basis (just in case someone thinks i know stuff). Donna, and Sarah ate/eat nothing but junk. Seriously. No exercise, junky processed crap for a diet, on a bunch of meds that mess with body chemistry, crap. This has gotten me thinking about what goes into my body. A lot. I do not advocate that anyone go off any meds for anything. Talk to your doctor. Or their drug rep. Me, i am going so unprocessed all-natural at this point it ... In the end, at least it will make me feel better. It may not do anything really, though, because i remember Andy Kaufman. Ate great, exercised, did it all right. Died of cancer anyway. Dang it. I want foolproof. But there isn't any. Life has no guarantees. It isn't permanent.
So, i suppose the best advice is to live each day remembering that we are all born to die and it could be today. Seriously. If the last couple of years have taught me nothing else, it is that. Live today the way you want to be remembered in your obit.
Be careful out there. But don't forget to live. Now, get off the computer and do something!!!
