Hormones Suck

There are days being a woman sucks. Not all of them, but some... Peri-menopausally speaking, circling that drain is part of the suckage.
I hit the wall about a week ago. Crying every day can't get out of bed kind of wall. A lot of it has been coming to terms with a dying cat for whom i can not make it all better. She trusts me and i am going to let her down. And shove pills in her until i let her down. Every time i have to give her meds and she fights me i die a little. So does she. Then my boss started on me because my job performance is a bit off lately. No shit. Sarcasm is also at an all-time high. I am having a fuck me kinda time lately.
I doubled my prozac for now. 20 mg a day. Therapeutic dose. But my doc is a cautious sort, so usually i just do 10. Not lately. Gotta keep it together to keep my jobs to pay the bills to ...
So it's been a struggle. Listening to People = Shit a lot. And then i had to go to the damn gynecologist again for another Pap test that will end up as bad as all the others and then she'll want to do another biopsy. More money i don't have to get inconclusive results. So damn tired of it. Not returning the phone call. Already know. They don't call with good news. Start folic acid she says. Maybe it will help she says. Why not. So, i do and a week later my damn period comes back from the dead. What the hell...
So now my life is even more fun.
But i didn't get fired yet so guess i can still pay the bills. Meanwhile, the house still smells like sick cat, so guess i should be cleaning stuff. I'll get there...