Started getting all achy and jumpy legs. Blaming the 20mg of simvastatin and going off it for a while as an experiment. It's like the old lab days. Change one variable and see what happens. Controls are trickier real world, but i hate taking meds, so there ya go. Yes, yes, i know. Depression means meds, cuz the alternative is unlivable. I have run that experiment over the decades. It sucks. It is unavoidable. I take as little as possible to stabilize enough for more holistic stuff and meditation to work. Dependence is not my style. Switching to flaxseed oil in a week after seeing if the leg cramps go away.
I have these fights with myself a lot. About everything from meds to caffeine. I feel it is a sort of forced consumerism. A sort of indentured servitude to the capitalist beast that feeds off us all. I dislike that feeling a lot. I want off the treadmill, but the realization came too late for that to be possible for a while. As i get closer to 50, i wonder if i will ever be free of it. I have no answer. I work two jobs and still can't stay ahead. All part of the government's plan. Not going to start on that. Except to say that the pharmaceutical companies give it a lot of money. Which brings me back to my point. Maybe i can't rebel in any way that will change anything, but i can take away my contribution to their blood pact as much as i am able. And the experimentation. But, that is also another topic. Life never has one thread and topics are not discreet.
Off to run screaming into the face of another day.
Later, minions.
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