The Garter Bearer's Tale

A fairly accurate account (he can correct me if he so chooses) of the night he earned the nick...
I had qualified to win a trip to see U2 in California from a local radio station, so i headed on down to the appointed bar where the winner would be named after class (went back to college... what was i thinking? We'll get to that sometime, too,). I was by myself, like always. *sniff*
I didn't drink, first off cuz i hadn't had my "ah, what the fuck, just do it" moment which ended 10 years of not drinking (no, i am not, i just had some bad times with those who are... i just got sick of those moments deciding what i do now... we'll get there, too) and second off cuz i had to drive home after. I had had 2 midterms that day, so i was ready for some loud music and fun.
I don't know why, but the fat, biker wanna be, nasty, get a room couple always ends up next to me at these things. Even if i move to avoid them. Tonight, no exception. Fat folks should not wear leather pants. 'nuf said. So, they are all over each other and, when they come up for air, try to get me to talk to them. Lovely. Flirting with me. *shudder* don't even want to think about what they were thinking...
The djs officially start things off and i am saved for a bit.
First off, loud music and random dancing.
Then, they bring the music down and have a couple of rounds of a drinking contest where the object is to beat your opponent 2 out of 3 times drinking beer out of sippy cups. Boy did they get wasted fast!
Brief return to music (cue nasty couple to my right to start in again) and a really drunken boy "dancing," and i am using that term in the loosest possible sense of interpretive dance that could be done to System of a Down sense... who nearly kicks me in the head.
So, they bring down the music again and start calling out names of finalists.
"If we call your name, you're a loser..." (various drunken Jim Carrey comments and imitations from the crowd)
Several names later, the music comes back up and the really disgusting, get a room, way too much alcohol couple next to me starts in again... (ew)
Then back to the drawing. (about time!)
We have thirteen names left. (one of my lucky numbers!)
not-me gets called eight times...
Ok, the last 5 get up on stage.
Short intro's...
Two more "not-me's" go bye-bye.
Who's the bigger fan questions...
I won that. (duh - they aren't my favorite of all time or anything, but i was way into them for a while)
Another one bites the dust.
Then there were two.
Then... the djs dressed us up in big floppy sparkly green hats, beads, buttons, and the Garter Bearer puts a garter on my left leg (the guy looked odd in a garter, gotta say)... You get the idea. Pictures start being taken...
Then, not-he is called (that would be me). *sigh*
The Name Caller feels terrible that i didn't win, i give the winner a handshake, the Garter Bearer consoles me, and i get more pictures taken as i get given my stuff and the big winner gets his stuff.
And, no, i am not posting the photos. I take bad photos.
But i still have the garter... just in case.
You never know...